Have you ever had someone close to you tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t follow your dreams? That you need to get back to reality, buckle down, and do work that you’re not passionate about, in order to have a bigger house and a minivan? (this person may even be yourself)
It happened to me this week. It was a person close to me. And while I don’t think this person meant to hurt me, the words stuck with me, creeping back up a few days later in a (rare) quiet moment.
I do have a lot of people ask me what I’ll do when my kids go to school. They must think that my business is a hobby that I just dabble in here and there. It’s not; I work 15-25 hours a week on it, on top of homeschooling, cleaning my house, making meals, and being a wife. I want to be home for my kids. I want to be their home, and I also want to be a major physical presence in our home.
I feel angry, and I feel hurt, and I feel a little bit foolish. We do not live extravagantly, we do not live in a “nice” neighborhood, we don’t have a yard. I’m not formally using my degree in Physics, or earning medical insurance. But I hold these things as truths: working with my hands is important, striving towards an eco-friendly small business matters, helping other families go green is vital, and setting the example to my kids that I follow my dreams, through tough times and easy times, is priceless. Being at home is not valued in our culture, but I think it is a worthy and important calling.
I believe that being creative is also honoring God with the talents He has given me. I also believe that I am honoring my mom with the skills she passed to me. It feels right to do something that feels so innate.
I’m trying to psyche myself back up out of the discouragement of a friend. It always helps that I’m up to my ears in orders =).